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Cubicle City
Practical Strategies for the Corporate Jungle
Vulcans Need Not Apply
by Christopher Duncan
For those of you unfamiliar with the term, due to a complete
lack of exposure to 1960s sci-fi classics or the fact that
you've been sharing a cave with Elvis for the past few decades,
a Vulcan is a fictional race of humanoids, doubtless thought up
by stressed out screen writers after one glass of Romulan ale
too many. How do I know that Vulcans are fictional? Easy.
They're a planet of human look-alikes (pointy ears
notwithstanding) who live by the code of logic and display no
emotion. Completely logical humans, who never make stupid,
emotional decisions or outbursts? Yeah, right. Pour me some of
that Romulan ale, buddy.
It doesn't matter what goals you pursue in life. To get your plan from point A to point B, sooner or later, you're going to have to deal with people. They're everywhere. I was actually going to observe that you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one, but then I thought of the hours of explanation I'd have to offer to our Vulcan friends as to why that was funny. I know, I know. The cats wouldn't be amused, either. This is why there are no comedy clubs on planet Vulcan. Well, that and the fact that Vulcans probably don't drink, either.
Nonetheless, we humans are known to hoist a cold one from time to time, and mindless, inappropriate and downright silly antics are sure to ensue. However, if you think people need to get tipsy in order to become emotional, irrational, and downright stupid, rest assured, this behavior comes as standard equipment. This is a very important consideration any time your goals and plans run the risk of coming into contact with one or more of the human race.
To better understand how it is that people are almost uniquely gifted in the universe when it comes to screwing up the best laid plans of mice, men, women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri (also known as Tribbles), let's take a closer look at the basic components.
In their simplest form, people are a combination of mental, physical and emotional attributes, mixed in a wide variety of proportions. The physical part is easy enough to understand. It's what stands in line at the super duper roller coaster while the emotions ask the mental exactly what they were thinking. The mental aspects get much more exercise in the business world. In fact, these are the guys who do the work of coming up with all those best laid plans, and a fine job they do. The only problem is that the mental facilities aren't usually on speaking terms with the emotional, and that's where it all starts to go south.
Whenever you have a plan or proposal that requires
interaction with others, it invariably has its first encounter
with the emotions of the other parties. That's because by
default, people tend to consider their own hopes and fears
first, and that's an emotional experience.
How much work will this create for them? Will it interfere with
their plans for a raise or promotion? Are they going to look
stupid if they can't deliver on their end? Does it pose a threat
to any of their turf or status? How much stress will it put them
under?
If you're not already emotionally drained from all these questions, you'll quickly see that each and every idea that you come up with can be a highly charged, hand wringing experience for others.
Consequently, even if they speak in even, measured tones, you
need to expect reactions based not solely on logic, but also on
emotion and self interest. If you ignore the emotional, petty
and human side of the equation, all the logic in the world won't
save your plan from disaster.
So plan logically, and plan often. But never forget that you're
dealing with people. Remember, Vulcans are fictional. Your
coworkers aren't.
Christopher
Duncan is the best selling author of Unite the Tribes and The
Career Programmer. In addition to his seminars, he's a popular
speaker and frequent guest on radio shows across the country.
He's currently working to improve companies and careers
nationwide through his work with the Campaign for American
Excellence. To contact Christopher, visit
www.PracticalStrategyConsulting.com
Copyright ©
by Christopher Duncan. All Rights Reserved.
Published with permission.
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